Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Watchwellast

Here is a collection of media that can be used to work with and engage students around a wide range of everyday problems. These videos all come from a pretty cool YouTube Channel called Watchwellcast. This is a part of a project focused on working with and engaging students in ways that help them make positive changes and/or informed choices in their lives.

I hope to add more content to this page. Please consider leaving a comment with your suggestions for more video, poetry, short stories, still images, quotes, music videos and lyrics, art and books.














Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Gabor Mate on The Biology of Loss

I listened to Gabor Mate talk about The Biology of Loss: Recognizing the Consequences of Impaired Attachments and Fostering Resilience. Mate is the author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, Scattered Minds and When the Body Says No.

Here is some of what I learned:

Gabor Mate

  • Children are being diagnosed and medicated for mental health disorders at an alarming rate.
  • We have a massive social experiment where we are using anti-psychotic medications to control their behaviour.
  • We are now treating the side effects and unintended consequences of all this diagnosis and medicating of children.
  • The medications we are using are changing the biology of children's brains.
  • When we say this person is behaving this way because they have depression, ADHD or OCD. These are not explanations -- these are merely descriptions of their behaviours. A diagnosis is a description, not an explanation.
  • We too often see misbehaviours as the problem. Misbehaviour is the symptom of a larger problem. Treating the misbehaviour ignores the larger problem. Using punishments to force behaviour to change makes the problem worse.
  • Punishing children for misbehaviour by isolating them and rupturing relationships is like taking books away from children who can't read.
  • There is nothing wrong with acting out. When we act out it is a signal that we lack the skills to communicate our needs and problems. Think of the crying baby who is hungry or has a dirty diaper. Misbehaviour, acting out and temper tantrums are a primitive way of communicating that there is a problem.
  • We can't separate biology and physiology. We can't separate nature and nurture.
  • Stress is learned and passed on from one generation to the next.
  • Seeing people with only a medical lens holds up back from seeing whole people. It is a mistake to separate the mind from the body and physical health from social experiences.
  • We treat so many physical illnesses with cortisol which treats stress but then we never inquire into the effects of stress that contributed to our physical illness.
  • Isolation kills.
  • Cancer is not the disease of an individual. It is a disease of the individual's environment.
  • It is a mistake to see ADHD, depression and other mental health issues as genetic. Because these diagnosis are increasing, but our genes are not changing, tells us that it can't be genetic.
  • Our attention has to be selective. We must ignore other things to pay attention to something.
  • If stress is too much, tuning out becomes a coping strategy. 
  • Adaptations that a child resort to in order to survive stress and trauma will cause long-term problems as they grow and develop. Necessary short-term solutions cause long-term problems. A child who tunes out to save themselves from stress, trauma and danger has a hard time turning back in when in a safe environment.
  • Addicts' brains lack the dopamine and chemistry that they can get from substance abuse. What happened in their life that affected their brain chemistry?
  • The prevention of ADHD, depression, OCD and others should happen at the first pre-natal visit. The stress of pregnant mothers are already affecting their baby's brains.
  • We need a preventative healthcare system that understands that we need to raise children's brains that don't need drugs from birth.
  • Emotionally and physically available parents who are not stressed that spend quality time with children are the best way to prevent addiction.
  • The hunter/gather tribe is one of the best environments to raise children because they have more than one set of adults to raise them. It takes a village to raise a child.
  • Parents can be stupid, so children need more than one set of adults to turn to.
  • Allowing young children to cry it out we are building their brains to not trust and defensive. Crying children learn that you don't care. They learn that the world doesn't care.
  • Infants cry because they have no other way to connect with people other than to be hold. Attachment is literal and requires physical touch.
  • When we use our love or absence of love as reward and punishment we teach children that they must please people at any cost to be loved.
  • If you have a 2 year old that isn't frustrated or mad at you, you're not parenting them.
  • When we convince children that angry little girls don't get love, they will learn to depress their feelings -- and then we diagnose them with depression. 
  • We need to move from punitive to supportive.
  • The greatest loss in life is not that there is no love or support -- the greatest loss is that we lose our sense of self. The good news is that reconnection with our true self is always possible. And the best way to help people find themselves is to provide them with unconditional acceptance and connection.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Theo Fleury and Kim Barthel

I listened to Kim Barthel and Theo Fleury discuss Trauma, Healing and the Brain. Together they wrote a book Conversations with a Rattle Snake. Here is some of what I learned:

  • There is always a reason for the behaviour.
  • If a care giver is preoccupied or unavailable then a child will feel rejection, abandonment and feeling not good enough which for a child is trauma.
  • In 2009, Theo Fleury wrote a book called Playing with Fire.
  • The fear of vulnerability holds us all back from living a whole life.
  • Trauma comes in many different shapes and sizes and it doesn't have to be just physical.
  • One of the most dangerous things for the brain is cortisol. Cortisol is our brain's pharmacy for stress. When we feel rejected, abandoned and not feeling good enough our brain is having a bath in cortisol.
  • Your brain can change until you stop breathing.
  • Trauma can harm the right side of the brain which can 
  • A care givers body language and facial expressions have huge impact on children's well-being. 
  • It is not necessarily helpful to retell the story of trauma. It's how we tell the story that matters in a relentlessly positive frame.
  • How parents interact with each other has a profound affect on children.
  • Trauma creates trauma. Hurt people, hurt people.
  • People who experience trauma often feel forced to pay attention to potential danger at the cost of mindfulness.
  • People who experience trauma sometimes cope by not being present and disassociating. It can be a safety mechanism to avoid further trauma.
  • Mindfulness teaches us to recognize our triggers for feeling not good enough, abandoned or rejected. The anecdote to these feelings is vulnerability and being aware of the here and now.
  • Our brains like balance to find our zone of comfort. Trauma changes our sense of balance so we engage in coping strategies to create a sense of balance.
  • People who struggle with regulating their brain chemistry self-medicate to regulate their brain chemistry. When mothers abuse substances, babies are born with brains that struggle to regulate their brain chemistry (dopamine).
  • Connection begets connection. Vulnerability is a two-way street between a mentor and mentee, parent and child, teacher and student.
  • Conversations with a Rattle Snake was almost called You're not a therapist, I'm not a patient, now let's just have a conversation. 
  • Sometimes when we don't feel good enough, it is sometimes a sign that we are not being authentic enough. People who are the most authentic are the most vulnerable and they might be the ones who feel good enough.
  • Childhood experiences and trauma can lead us to feel abandoned, rejected, unloved and to feel not good enough.

Trauma, Healing & the Brain with Dr. Earl Henslin

I attended a Trauma, Healing and the Brain conference. Here is some of what I learned from Dr. Earl Henslin.

Dr. Earl Henslin


  • Earl has a doctorate in clinical psychology. 
  • Author of This is your Brain in Love and This is your Brain on Joy
  • Is there a normal brain? How can there be when we all experience such different things.
  • Bumps to our head can change a lot about our lives.
  • The real reason to not do drugs: They damage your brain and limit your potential.
  • Everything we put in our mouth has an affect on our brain.
  • Prefrontal cortex: front part of the brain that runs executive functioning. It is the "adult on board" that helps us make good decisions. Drug and alcohol abuse damages the prefrontal cortex.
  • Any 12 step addiction program tells us that recovering addicts shouldn't make any life altering decisions inside of the first year of being sober. A sponsor and mentor is needed to help make up for the damage done to the prefrontal cortex.
  • Exercise and movement is the best thing we can do for the brain. Sleep is the second best thing we can do for our brain.
  • 10 years of alcohol and nicotine abuse quadruples the risk of Alzheimer's and dementia.
  • Head trauma can be the cause of depression, anxiety, anger, etc.
  • Neuroplasticity = the brain can change
  • Before we jump into education and therapy, we should make sure the child's basic needs and health are being met. Eat, sleep and movement. There may be organic brain damage that we need to address.
  • Basal ganglia is the part of the brain responsible for anxiety
  • Heal the brain, help the soul.
  • Without a healthy brain, the half-life of talk therapy and education can be from the classroom/office to the playground/parking lot.
  • Quiet the Mind is a great book on calming our thoughts
  • Energy drinks are doing more damage to our brains than we understand.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Healthy Eating

Here is a collection of media that can be used to work with and engage students around healthy eating. This is a part of a project focused on working with and engaging students in ways that help them make positive changes and/or informed choices in their lives.

I hope to add more content to this page. Please consider leaving a comment with your suggestions for more video, poetry, short stories, still images, quotes, music videos and lyrics, art and books.



Friday, October 9, 2015

Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity

Kristopher Wells
I listened to Dr. Kristopher Wells who is an Assisstant Professor and Institute for Sexual Minority Studies and Services (iSMSS) University of Alberta. He spoke about Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity in Canadian Schools. You can follow Kristopher on Twitter here.

Here is some of what I learned:
  • After decades of silence, more and more of our public institutions (like our schools) want to have a better understanding for gender identity and sexual orientation. 
  • Kristopher started www.nohomophobes.com. Homophobic language isn't always meant to be hurtful, but how often do we use it without thinking?
  • Kristopher worked with the Alberta Teachers Association to author a Safe Spaces Initiative.
  • For the longest time, the Edmonton Oilers would have nothing to do with supporting LGBTQ until Andrew Ference marched in the Edmonton Pride Parade with his Oilers jersey.
  • Understanding and allying with LGBTQ is about inclusion and humanizing schools.
  • What is LBBTTTIQQAAP? Lesbain, gay, bisexual, transgender, two spirit, transexual, intersex, queer, questioning, asexual, ally, pansexual.
  • Those who are not LGBTQ may be in the best position to use their privilege to ally and advocate for those who are LGBTQ.
  • LGBTQ are sexual and gender minority, an invisible minority, are disproportionate targets for violence and victimization, and are coming out at younger ages.
  • People who say "there are no gay students in my school" are really saying "there are no visible gay students in our school" because the school is likely not a safe space for them to be visibly gay.
  • Confidentiality for students is important especially when it comes to their sexual orientation and gender identity. When students are "outed" by breaches of their confidentiality they are put at risk.
  • Some parents might say "if the school knows my child is gay, I demand they tell me. I have a right to know". The real issue here is if a child is gay, and you are their parent, why don't you already know?
  • The most victimizers and victims of hate crimes are youth.
  • Are schools suppose to challenge our society's status quo or maintain it?
  • Boys and girls tend to become aware of their sexual orientation around 10. They tend to disclose this around 16. LGBTQ children can become aware of their gender identity around 6. 
  • What message are we giving children if they are told they just have to survive in isolation until they can grow up and find their own safe place elsewhere?
  • Generation Queer is the first generation of children who are aware and disclosing their gender identity and sexual orientation while still in school.
  • After Alberta had policies around Gay-Straight Alliances far more schools had Gay-Straight Alliances. Policy is important. It can liberate us or it can hold us back.
  • LGBTQ is our present day civil rights movement.
  • In schools, we should not be trying to "fix" our students. We should be supporting them.
  • If you want to know how dangerous it can be to be LGBTQ, hold hands with a same sex friend and walk around public places.
  • We have tolerance for a "tom-boy" but very little for a "sissy-boy"
  • Wren Kauffman: A transgender boy shares his story
  • Our binary understanding for male and female gender identity causes harm. Our concept of normal needs to change.
  • Preparing children for hate and ignorance is not the same as protecting them from it or stopping it.
  • Homophobia is in our schools and it is hurting our children.
  • Why do some people survive atrocities? Two things tend to get people through atrocity: 1. Hope that the future can be better 2. Support and love from family.
  • Diversity allows us to adapt and makes us stronger. Sameness is unsustainable and stagnant.
  • Teachers need to intervene when students say "fag" as often as they intervene when students say "fuck".

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Throw away thoughts and Replacement Thoughts



I use this video with children who find themselves having overwhelming negative thoughts through out their day. These negative thoughts lead people to be more depressed, more self-critical and less successful.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) outlines 3 basic steps for rethinking negative thinking:

1. Be aware of the negative thought and record it.

2. Rationalize the negative thoughts into categories. (Assuming & Mind Reading, Shoulds/Musts & Oughts, Fairy Tale Fantasy, Over Generalizing, Catastrophizing...)

3. Replace the negative thought with a more plausible and positive thought.

Drawing attention to negative thinking, naming it and replacing it is something children and adults alike can do to retrain their brains and hearts in an attempt to be happier and more successful.


Tuesday, June 17, 2014

This will be my last year teaching in the hospital -- here are 3 things I learned

This will be my last year teaching in a children's psychiatric assessment unit. Next school year, I will be moving to a middle school where I will be teaching grade 6 language arts, grade 6 social studies and grade 8 social studies.

I've spent almost four years teaching in the hospital, and I know that I am a better teacher for it -- I think I'm a better husband and father, too. Teaching in a children's psychiatric assessment unit has forever changed my perspective on what matters most.

Here are three things I have learned from teaching in the hospital:

1. Children who are loved at home, come to school to learn -- children who are not loved at home, come to school be loved. Too many of the children I taught over the last 4 years were suffering from a toxic combination of abuse and neglect. These children are not stupid or lazy, and they are not bad, but they are lost -- and our job is to help them find themselves.

These children are struggling with a wide range of problems from anger to depression to eating disorders to addictions, and yet there was a common denominator among almost everyone of the more than 500 children I taught in the last four years: Almost every single child I have worked with in the last four years thinks very little of themselves. Too many of these children hated themselves, wanted to hurt themselves and actively tried to kill themselves.

Over the last four years, we read a lot and we wrote a lot about topics that truly mattered to them, but not before I worked tirelessly to nurture a relationship with each of my students. This is why the best teachers understand that students will never care what you know until they know you care about them.

2. Children don't give adults a hard time -- they are just having a hard time. I can't tell you how many times I had to remind myself that the children who are the hardest to like, need us the most. When we understand that hurt people, hurt people, it's easier to see our students' struggles not as problems to be punished but as opportunities to be taught. This is why my teaching philosophy is defined by a purposeful shift away from doing things to students and a move towards working with them. This is why I proudly hang Thomas Gordon's words in my classroom:
The more you use power to try and control people, the less real influence you’ll have on their lives. 
3. Great teachers can do a lot -- overcoming poverty or inequity is not one of them. I've worked hard over my 15 years of teaching to become pretty darn good at it. I'm not great everyday, but I'm great more days than I'm not and I was humbled daily by factors that are completely out of my control such as poverty, abuse, neglect and mental health problems.

When I say that poverty and inequity matters, I am not making excuses, and I am not saying that poor children can't learn. What I am saying is that poverty and inequity stunts potential growth and explains why so many children struggle to learn and teachers struggle to teach.

Great teachers make great schools, but great teachers can’t do it alone – they require the support of an equitable society.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

3 most damaging words we tell our sons

Take 3 minutes and watch this.

For four years, I have taught in a hospital where too many of the children I teach hate themselves, cut themselves and want to kill themselves.

Too many of my students are angry and depressed.

Too many of my students feel isolated and alone.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Canada's income inequality

The Globe and Mail: Income inequality affects
every Canadian.
Income inequality is not just a made-in-America problem.

The Globe and Mail ran a piece featuring how income inequality hurts every Canadian's chance of building a better life.

This must-read is a part of The Globe and Mail's Wealth Paradox series which takes a look into how the income gap and inequality is shaping Canada. The question: How income in income inequality affects you? The answers are broken down into four categories: the wage gap, healthcare, education, recreation.

Here are a couple highlights:

WAGE GAP


  • Canada's top earners have been getting richer with increasing speed while average incomes remain stagnant.
  • In 2002, the average CEO-to-worker pay ration was 84:1. In 2012, its 122:1
  • What if more companies ensured that the highest-paid worker never makes more than 10 times the wage of the lowest-paid worker?
  • What if more companies engaged in profit-sharing with it's employees?

HEALTH CARE


  • Inequality is linked to poorer health outcomes. 
  • The income gap is perhaps the most pronounced in mental health care. An estimated 1.2 million young Canadians are affected by mental illness. Only 1 in 4 gets appropriate treatment.
  • "What we have today in Canada is a two-tier mental health system in which kids are the victim." Michael Kirby


EDUCATION


  • High income areas are primarily home to high-achieving schools while lower income areas have a higher number of lower-scoring schools.
  • We need to stop pretending that education can lift people out of poverty on its own.
  • Great teachers make great schools, but great teachers can't do it alone - they require the support of an equitable society.
  • If we are not careful, we risk misinterpreting standardized test scores, and instead of waging war on poverty and inequity, we end up waging war on teachers and schools.
  • Highly-educated and affluent parents can give their kids opportunities their lower-income peers simply don't have. 


RECREATION


  • Median incomes haven't budged in 30 years, but leisure activities, the pleasure in life, some of which have become too expensive for the majority of Canadians.
  • Parents of current minor hockey players spent an average of $2,898 on hockey-related items during the 2011/2012 season. The parents surveyed earned 15% more than the Canadian average. 

INCOME GAP SOLUTIONS


At the end of the Globe and Mail's piece is a poll that asks Which solution would best reduce the effects of income inequality in Canada? The options include:

Restore Fairness in our Tax System

Enhance Early Childhood Education

Emulate Germany's Approach to Skills Training

Create a New "Social Contract"

Boost Support for the Working Poor

Do Nothing - There's No Major Problem


Tuesday, September 17, 2013

An intense video on the dangers of drug use

Through a Blue Lens (1999) is a documentary film produced by the National Film Board of Canada. The film follows interactions between police officers and drug addicts and documents the extreme poverty and suffering many addicts endure.


I use this video with students who require education around the dangers of drug use. It is an intense video that should be previewed before making the decision to show students.

Monday, September 16, 2013

What is the single most important thing you can do for stress?

Dr. Mike Evans has a number of engaging and enlightening videos on how to get and keep healthy. Here's another on stress. Take 11 minutes and consider his sage advice. I use this with my students to inspire a research project on rethinking stress.



My favourite parts:

  • How we cope with stress is affected by how much control we have over our lives, our social network, openness to change and self care skills.
  • Change your thinking style. Change your thinking, change your life.
  • We manufacture stress inside our brains with how we think. It's our thinking that brings the stress.
  • Stress management is a skill that can be learned.
  • Cognitive Behavioural Theory is where we learn practical strategies for changing our thinking.
  • "The greatest weapon against stress is in our ability to choose one thought over another." Dr.William James.
  • Mindfulness is really about choosing where to place your attention.
  • Writing out a stress story can be very therapeutic. 
  • When things are stress, it can be helpful to keep things simple such as keeping a regular sleep routine, avoid eating crap, walk, socialize. 
  • "When I do good, I feel good, when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion." Abraham Lincoln
  • 90-10 rule: 10% of life is what happens to us and 90% is how we respond.
  • Our thoughts and attitudes are the key to how we manage the challenges and stressors in life. 

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Education Triage

I've started my fourth year teaching at the hospital (14th year of teaching) and after a month of summer I feel refreshed and ready to take on the challenges that come with teaching in the hospital.

Teaching in a children's psychiatric assessment unit has forever changed my perspective on what matters most.

For the last three years, I have worked with children who are in some kind of crisis. None of these children come to the hospital to get caught up on their homework. If homework was their priority, they could stay at home, complete their homework and go to school -- but because these children are experiencing such difficulties, their regularly scheduled homework and curriculum can not meet their needs.

When people ask me about my job, I tell them that I do educational triage. My job is to figure out what a child's immediate needs are and help them to start meeting those needs. Children might stay for 72 hours or as long as 5 weeks. Often their stay is somewhere in between. 

When a child enters my classroom in the hospital, I explain that no one comes to the hospital to get caught up on their homework, and I ask them to write down some of the reasons why they are in the hospital. Essentially, I ask them to write a list of things that are causing them problems in their life that they would like to make better. I explain that some children write down things like anger, depression, suicide, cutting, sadness, eating disorders, relationship problems, trust issues, violent mood swings, lack of sleep, anxiety, stress, poor concentration, poor communication, self-harm, abuse, neglect... It's important to note that while there are a wide range of reasons for why children come to the hospital, every single one of them has a low self-esteem. Almost every single child I have worked with in the last three years thinks very little of themselves.

After I read their responses, I provide them with resources to read, write, view, represent, play, think and talk about. In a very real sense, I am tailoring a personal curriculum for each and every child based on their personal needs. Without at least some input from the child, I would have a very difficult time providing them with something relevant to their lives. I know this because I've tried to give kids resources and learning opportunities without asking them about their lives and their needs and it did not go well.

Every day is different from the last. Children come and go quickly, so I have to be prepared to listen to their needs and have a timely and informative plan. 

First, I provide every student with a journal. I buy a variety of journals from discount or dollar stores and tell the children that it is their own private journal and that no one will read it unless they invite someone to do so. Their journal is a place where they can curate all of their thoughts and feelings that arise from all of the things they learn.

It's important to note that I subscribe to Dr. Ross Greene's approach, so I believe that children will be successful if they can. Doing well is always more desirable than not doing well, so when a child is not doing well, it is likely because their environment is demanding skills that they are lagging. I use the Assessment for Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems to frame my conversations with students, parents, and colleagues.

I continue to collect and curate a number of engaging activities that address some of the problems that are plaguing children. Here are some examples of the resources I provide students depending on their needs:

Eating Disorders. For children who have an eating disorder, I provide them with a copy of Life Without Ed by Jenni Schaefer. It is a reader friendly book that is accessible and appropriate for even reluctant or struggling readers. Schaefer encourages people to identify their eating disorder as a separate identity by naming it Ed or Edie; her book is made up of bite size (pun intended) chapters that detail how eating disorders are about constant self-criticism, loss of self-esteem, and unrelenting perfectionism. I also provide students with Shaefer's second book Goodby Ed, Hello me. We also do projects like this that focus on the effects media and technology have on self image, self-esteem and self-worth.

Depression. For children who are profoundly sad and/or depressed, I focus on having them learn about how they can alter their lifestyle in order to move their mood. I provide them with a copy of Brain Rules by John Medina. Some of the most popular chapters include exercise, sleep and stress. I also provide them with a copy of John Ratey's book Spark where we read chapter 4 on anxiety and chapter 5 on depression where Ratey shows that exercise is as effective as certain medications for treating anxiety and depression. I also use the video Twenty Three and Half Hours by Dr. Mike Evans. We also discuss I had a black dog, it's name is depression.

Anger. For children who have difficulty with their anger, I provide them with a little book called 30-Minute Therapy for Anger. Anger is an emotion that is managed not cured, because it is entirely appropriate for us to become outraged by the outrageous. The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is not that one gets angry and the other doesn't. We all get angry. Successful people manage their anger adaptively and productively, while unsuccessful people have difficulty managing emotional response to frustration so as to think rationally.

Isolation. When things are at their worst, do you turn to people or things? When we turn to things to solve our problems, we look really bad, so we isolate ourselves because we don't want others to see us doing things that make us look bad. Meanwhile, we become consumed with shame and guilt. Isolation begets isolation and over time we develop an acute fear of being judged which keeps us from turning to people, so we isolate more and continue to turn to things.  I often provide children with a copy of Brene Brown's book The Gifts of Imperfection where we learn that the best things in life are not things; because things can only ever take from us, they can't give us what we need. What we really need is a connection with people through healthy relationships. Things are impostors for connection, and when we substitute people for things, we are corrupting our connections and sabotaging ourselves. Children who isolate often have difficulty considering a range of solutions to a problem, starting conversations, entering groups, connecting with people, and attending to or accurately interpreting social cues and nuances.

Hate school. For too many children, school is a place they go to be told they are not good at anything. For too many children, school is a daily exercise in being forced to passively sit through out-of-context and purposeless lectures, worksheets and quizzes that hold no relevance to their life. For these kids, I ask them about what greases their gears, blows their hair back and floats their boat. By far the most disheartening answer I can hear from a child is "nothing". We are all born with a love for learning, and when I meet a child who has lost that loving feeling, I know that something very bad has happened to them. Too many children experience school as a place where they are told they are stupid. For these kids, I try and rekindle their love for learning by empowering them to rethink school.

Adults tend to cause the most trouble for children when we assume they already have the necessary emotional, behavioural and intellectual skills to navigate successfully through their day. Trying to understand a child who has an eating disorder or who is profoundly depressed might be impossible for someone who has never experienced an eating disorder or depression. But that might be okay, because when children are experiencing these difficulties sometimes what they need most is for us to just believe that what they are experiencing is their reality. I'll put it another way -- these children are not giving the adults in their life a hard time; they are having a hard time.

The gross majority of the children I see in the hospital have nothing wrong with their DNA. They are not retarded or psychotic. These children suffer from something much worse and that is abuse and neglect.

The difference between the children I spend my day with and you and me is not that these kids are experiencing a challenging childhood. Everyone has to some extent a challenging childhood.

The difference between the children I spend my day with and you and me is not that we were resilient in the face of frustration and refused to quit when quitting would have been easier than persisting. These children are remarkably persistant and resilient.

So what's the difference?

If I asked you to make a list of people who went out of their way to support you and help you and accept and love you unconditionally, I bet you could name names. The difference is that too many of the children I work either mistakenly place inappropriate candidates on their list or they have no list at all.

If real estate is about location, location, location -- then education is about relationships, relationships, relationships.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Anger, revenge and violence

This short story is titled The Sniper and was written by Liam O'Flaherty. I use this with students to discuss anger, revenge and violence.

by Liam O'Flaherty

The long June twilight faded into night. Dublin lay enveloped in darkness but for the dim light of the moon that shone through fleecy clouds, casting a pale light as of approaching dawn over the streets and the dark waters of the Liffey. Around the beleaguered Four Courts the heavy guns roared. Here and there through the city, machine guns and rifles broke the silence of the night, spasmodically, like dogs barking on lone farms. Republicans and Free Staters were waging civil war.

On a rooftop near O'Connell Bridge, a Republican sniper lay watching. Beside him lay his rifle and over his shoulders was slung a pair of field glasses. His face was the face of a student, thin and ascetic, but his eyes had the cold gleam of the fanatic. They were deep and thoughtful, the eyes of a man who is used to looking at death.

He was eating a sandwich hungrily. He had eaten nothing since morning. He had been too excited to eat. He finished the sandwich, and, taking a flask of whiskey from his pocket, he took a short drought. Then he returned the flask to his pocket. He paused for a moment, considering whether he should risk a smoke. It was dangerous. The flash might be seen in the darkness, and there were enemies watching. He decided to take the risk.

Placing a cigarette between his lips, he struck a match, inhaled the smoke hurriedly and put out the light. Almost immediately, a bullet flattened itself against the parapet of the roof. The sniper took another whiff and put out the cigarette. Then he swore softly and crawled away to the left.

Cautiously he raised himself and peered over the parapet. There was a flash and a bullet whizzed over his head. He dropped immediately. He had seen the flash. It came from the opposite side of the street.

He rolled over the roof to a chimney stack in the rear, and slowly drew himself up behind it, until his eyes were level with the top of the parapet. There was nothing to be seen--just the dim outline of the opposite housetop against the blue sky. His enemy was under cover.

Just then an armored car came across the bridge and advanced slowly up the street. It stopped on the opposite side of the street, fifty yards ahead. The sniper could hear the dull panting of the motor. His heart beat faster. It was an enemy car. He wanted to fire, but he knew it was useless. His bullets would never pierce the steel that covered the gray monster.

Then round the corner of a side street came an old woman, her head covered by a tattered shawl. She began to talk to the man in the turret of the car. She was pointing to the roof where the sniper lay. An informer.

The turret opened. A man's head and shoulders appeared, looking toward the sniper. The sniper raised his rifle and fired. The head fell heavily on the turret wall. The woman darted toward the side street. The sniper fired again. The woman whirled round and fell with a shriek into the gutter.

Suddenly from the opposite roof a shot rang out and the sniper dropped his rifle with a curse. The rifle clattered to the roof. The sniper thought the noise would wake the dead. He stooped to pick the rifle up. He couldn't lift it. His forearm was dead. "I'm hit," he muttered.

Dropping flat onto the roof, he crawled back to the parapet. With his left hand he felt the injured right forearm. The blood was oozing through the sleeve of his coat. There was no pain--just a deadened sensation, as if the arm had been cut off.

Quickly he drew his knife from his pocket, opened it on the breastwork of the parapet, and ripped open the sleeve. There was a small hole where the bullet had entered. On the other side there was no hole. The bullet had lodged in the bone. It must have fractured it. He bent the arm below the wound. the arm bent back easily. He ground his teeth to overcome the pain.

Then taking out his field dressing, he ripped open the packet with his knife. He broke the neck of the iodine bottle and let the bitter fluid drip into the wound. A paroxysm of pain swept through him. He placed the cotton wadding over the wound and wrapped the dressing over it. He tied the ends with his teeth.

Then he lay still against the parapet, and, closing his eyes, he made an effort of will to overcome the pain.

In the street beneath all was still. The armored car had retired speedily over the bridge, with the machine gunner's head hanging lifeless over the turret. The woman's corpse lay still in the gutter.

The sniper lay still for a long time nursing his wounded arm and planning escape. Morning must not find him wounded on the roof. The enemy on the opposite roof coverd his escape. He must kill that enemy and he could not use his rifle. He had only a revolver to do it. Then he thought of a plan.

Taking off his cap, he placed it over the muzzle of his rifle. Then he pushed the rifle slowly upward over the parapet, until the cap was visible from the opposite side of the street. Almost immediately there was a report, and a bullet pierced the center of the cap. The sniper slanted the rifle forward. The cap clipped down into the street. Then catching the rifle in the middle, the sniper dropped his left hand over the roof and let it hang, lifelessly. After a few moments he let the rifle drop to the street. Then he sank to the roof, dragging his hand with him.

Crawling quickly to his feet, he peered up at the corner of the roof. His ruse had succeeded. The other sniper, seeing the cap and rifle fall, thought that he had killed his man. He was now standing before a row of chimney pots, looking across, with his head clearly silhouetted against the western sky.

The Republican sniper smiled and lifted his revolver above the edge of the parapet. The distance was about fifty yards--a hard shot in the dim light, and his right arm was paining him like a thousand devils. He took a steady aim. His hand trembled with eagerness. Pressing his lips together, he took a deep breath through his nostrils and fired. He was almost deafened with the report and his arm shook with the recoil.

Then when the smoke cleared, he peered across and uttered a cry of joy. His enemy had been hit. He was reeling over the parapet in his death agony. He struggled to keep his feet, but he was slowly falling forward as if in a dream. The rifle fell from his grasp, hit the parapet, fell over, bounded off the pole of a barber's shop beneath and then clattered on the pavement.

Then the dying man on the roof crumpled up and fell forward. The body turned over and over in space and hit the ground with a dull thud. Then it lay still.

The sniper looked at his enemy falling and he shuddered. The lust of battle died in him. He became bitten by remorse. The sweat stood out in beads on his forehead. Weakened by his wound and the long summer day of fasting and watching on the roof, he revolted from the sight of the shattered mass of his dead enemy. His teeth chattered, he began to gibber to himself, cursing the war, cursing himself, cursing everybody.

He looked at the smoking revolver in his hand, and with an oath he hurled it to the roof at his feet. The revolver went off with a concussion and the bullet whizzed past the sniper's head. He was frightened back to his senses by the shock. His nerves steadied. The cloud of fear scattered from his mind and he laughed.

Taking the whiskey flask from his pocket, he emptied it a drought. He felt reckless under the influence of the spirit. He decided to leave the roof now and look for his company commander, to report. Everywhere around was quiet. There was not much danger in going through the streets. He picked up his revolver and put it in his pocket. Then he crawled down through the skylight to the house underneath.

When the sniper reached the laneway on the street level, he felt a sudden curiosity as to the identity of the enemy sniper whom he had killed. He decided that he was a good shot, whoever he was. He wondered did he know him. Perhaps he had been in his own company before the split in the army. He decided to risk going over to have a look at him. He peered around the corner into O'Connell Street. In the upper part of the street there was heavy firing, but around here all was quiet.

The sniper darted across the street. A machine gun tore up the ground around him with a hail of bullets, but he escaped. He threw himself face downward beside the corpse. The machine gun stopped.

Then the sniper turned over the dead body and looked into his brother's face.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Depression

Here is a collection of media that can be used to work with and engage students around depression. This is a part of a project focused on working with and engaging students in ways that help them make positive changes and/or informed choices in their lives.

I hope to add more content to this page. Please consider leaving a comment with your suggestions for more video, poetry, short stories, still images, quotes, music videos and lyrics, art and books.







Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Butterfly Project

Because I work in a children's psychiatric assessment unit, I often have students who self-harm. Self-harm can come in different flavours. Some children verbally abuse themselves by talking to themselves in hurtful ways. Some physically abuse themselves by cutting or hitting themselves. Some abuse substances like drugs and alcohol.

Here's a project I introduce to children who cut themselves.

The Butterfly Project:
  1. When you feel like you want to cut, take a marker, pen or sharpies and draw a butterfly on your arm or hand.
  2. Name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better.
  3. You must let the butterfly fade naturally. No scrubbing it off.
  4. If you cut before the butterfly is gone, you've killed it. If you don't cut, it lives.
  5. If you have more than one butterfly, cutting kills all of them.
  6. Another person may draw them on you. These butterflies are extra special. Take good care of them.
  7. Even if you don't cut, feel free to draw a butterfly anyways, to show your support. If you do this, name it after someone you know that cuts or is suffering right now, and tell them.
While this project is not perfect and may not be right for some people, I do like it because for some people who cut and self-harm, it might help them replace the razor or knife with a person.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

When things are at their worst, do you turn to people or things

When things are at their worst do you turn to people or things?

When things aren't going well, too many of us isolate ourselves. We find short-term comfort in things like drugs, alcohol, gambling, video games, food, chocolate, work, shopping, competition, cutting, etc.

The best things in life are never things, and because things can only ever take from us, they can't give us what we need most.

So what do we need?

Connection.

Brene Brown explains in her book The Gifts of Imperfection:
I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship... 
Connection begets connection. 
As a matter of fact, we are wired for connection. It's in our biology. From the time we are born, we need connection to thrive emotionally, physically, spiritually, and intellectually.
Things are impostors for connection. When we substitute people for things, we are corrupting our connections and sabotaging ourselves.

Because we require the connections born out of relationships with other people, the risks and consequences for disconnection are very real and very dangerous.

So when things are at their worst, do you turn to people or things?

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Grief and Loss

Here is a collection of media that can be used to work with and engage students around coping with grief and loss. This is a part of a project focused on working with and engaging students in ways that help them make positive changes and/or informed choices in their lives.

I hope to add more content to this page. Please consider leaving a comment with your suggestions for more video, poetry, short stories, still images, quotes, music videos and lyrics, art and books.

The Five Stages of Grief