Wildrose and PCs vote against supporting Gay-Straight Alliances in schools where children want them

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

-Martin Luther King Jr.

Liberal MLA Kent Hehr's Motion 503 which called for schools to support the establishment of Gay-Straight alliances to help protect children from bullying and discrimination was defeated in the Alberta Legislature Monday.

The final vote saw the motion lose 31 to 19. Every Liberal and NDP MLA supported the motion with some PC MLAs. However, the majority of PCs and all Wildrose MLAs voted against the motion. (37 MLAs didn't show up for the vote)

I have four points:

1. Gay-Straight Alliances save children's lives by reducing bullying and suicide attempts. Gay-Straight Alliances create safe places for children to organize, empower, educate and protect each other from discrimination against their sexual orientation. They make schools safer for children. The Alberta Party has come out strongly in favour of Gay-Straight Alliances.  Watch PC MLA Sandra Jansen's remarkable speech on Gay-Straight Alliances:

2. Gay-Straight Alliances put children first. There isn't an MLA in Alberta who would disagree with putting children first. The PCs and Wildrose alike have boasted that they put children first and highlight the freedom to choose as a distinguished and important feature of Alberta's education system. 

The Wildrose specifically claim that they respect individuality and want to empower local autonomy. To be clear, Motion 503 only mandated Gay-Straight Alliances in schools where students want them. A vote for Motion 503 would have put students first by empowering them with the freedom to choose Gay-Straight Alliances. 

A vote against Motion 503 is a vote for the status quo where individual children who want Gay-Straight Alliances to protect themselves and others from bullying can and are rejected by centralized authorities.

When it comes to Gay-Straight Alliances, Education Minister Jeff Johnson claims that he doesn't want to interfere with school boards because he respects their local autonomy -- but when it comes to collective bargaining, he has no trouble hijacking school board's local autonomy with with legislation.

Alberta's Education Minister Jeff Johnson

3. Gay-Straight Alliances don't single out any single specific group of students any more than efforts to support First Nations, Metis and Inuit (FNMI) students. For the MLAs who defend their vote against Motion 503 because it unfairly singles out one specific group of students, I have one question:

Do you reject Alberta's recent efforts to specifically support First Nations, Metis and Inuit (FNMI) students because it unfairly singles out a specific group of students?

Of course not.

No one would say that they value all sports so schools should not give special attention to individual sports like basketball or that school should value all subjects so we shouldn't give special attention to individual subjects like math.

Sometimes people say they value everything so they don't have to take a stand on anything.

Voting against Motion 503 because you want to protect all students from bullying, not just some, might make some politicians look good because they won't tolerate any bullying -- but it represents a hollow promise to children who would be safer with Gay-Straight Alliances in schools where the adults won't allow them.

4. The Wildrose are still morally bankrupt. It's true that the majority of PCs voted against Motion 503 and they most certainly need to be challenged individually, but because every single Wildrose MLA voted against Gay-Straight Alliances, the entire Wildrose party needs to be challenged.

I can't help but remember Alberta's 2012 election when Wildrose MLA hopeful Allen Hunsperger spawned his comments about gay people burning in a lake of fire and that public education is godless, wicked and profane for putting into place anti-bullying policies to protect children from being targeted for their sexual orientation.

As shameful as Hunsperger's hateful comments are, I hold a special distaste for Danielle Smith's refusal to condemn her party's candidate. That Smith retreats to the party line that "the Wildrose will not introduce legislation on contentious social issues" is nothing more than silence as assent.

On Monday, April 7, 2014, the Wildrose's unanimous opposition to Motion 503 shows Albertans that nothing has changed with the Wildrose. 

The Wildrose are still morally bankrupt and intellectually indefensible.

We are more than labels

Here's a cool video that I use with students to talk about the harmful affects of labels.

Hello My Name Is... from studiOrange on Vimeo.

Best. Anti-Bullying Video. Ever.

To This Day by Shane Koyczan

To This Day
When I was a kid
I used to think that pork chops and karate chops
were the same thing
I thought they were both pork chops
and because my grandmother thought it was cute
and because they were my favourite
she let me keep doing it

not really a big deal

one day
before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees
I fell out of a tree
and bruised the right side of my body

I didn’t want to tell my grandmother about it
because I was afraid I’d get in trouble
for playing somewhere that I shouldn’t have been

a few days later the gym teacher noticed the bruise
and I got sent to the principal’s office
from there I was sent to another small room
with a really nice lady
who asked me all kinds of questions
about my life at home

I saw no reason to lie
as far as I was concerned
life was pretty good
I told her “whenever I’m sad
my grandmother gives me karate chops”

this led to a full scale investigation
and I was removed from the house for three days
until they finally decided to ask how I got the bruises

news of this silly little story quickly spread through the school
and I earned my first nickname

pork chop

to this day
I hate pork chops

I’m not the only kid
who grew up this way
surrounded by people who used to say
that rhyme about sticks and stones
as if broken bones
hurt more than the names we got called
and we got called them all
so we grew up believing no one
would ever fall in love with us
that we’d be lonely forever
that we’d never meet someone
to make us feel like the sun
was something they built for us
in their tool shed
so broken heart strings bled the blues
as we tried to empty ourselves
so we would feel nothing
don’t tell me that hurts less than a broken bone
that an ingrown life
is something surgeons can cut away
that there’s no way for it to metastasize

it does

she was eight years old
our first day of grade three
when she got called ugly
we both got moved to the back of the class
so we would stop get bombarded by spit balls
but the school halls were a battleground
where we found ourselves outnumbered day after wretched day
we used to stay inside for recess
because outside was worse
outside we’d have to rehearse running away
or learn to stay still like statues giving no clues that we were there
in grade five they taped a sign to her desk
that read beware of dog

to this day
despite a loving husband
she doesn’t think she’s beautiful
because of a birthmark
that takes up a little less than half of her face
kids used to say she looks like a wrong answer
that someone tried to erase
but couldn’t quite get the job done
and they’ll never understand
that she’s raising two kids
whose definition of beauty
begins with the word mom
because they see her heart
before they see her skin
that she’s only ever always been amazing

he
was a broken branch
grafted onto a different family tree
adopted
but not because his parents opted for a different destiny
he was three when he became a mixed drink
of one part left alone
and two parts tragedy
started therapy in 8th grade
had a personality made up of tests and pills
lived like the uphills were mountains
and the downhills were cliffs
four fifths suicidal
a tidal wave of anti depressants
and an adolescence of being called popper
one part because of the pills
and ninety nine parts because of the cruelty
he tried to kill himself in grade ten
when a kid who still had his mom and dad
had the audacity to tell him “get over it” as if depression
is something that can be remedied
by any of the contents found in a first aid kit

to this day
he is a stick on TNT lit from both ends
could describe to you in detail the way the sky bends
in the moments before it’s about to fall
and despite an army of friends
who all call him an inspiration
he remains a conversation piece between people
who can’t understand
sometimes becoming drug free
has less to do with addiction
and more to do with sanity

we weren’t the only kids who grew up this way
to this day
kids are still being called names
the classics were
hey stupid
hey spaz
seems like each school has an arsenal of names
getting updated every year
and if a kid breaks in a school
and no one around chooses to hear
do they make a sound?
are they just the background noise
of a soundtrack stuck on repeat
when people say things like
kids can be cruel?
every school was a big top circus tent
and the pecking order went
from acrobats to lion tamers
from clowns to carnies
all of these were miles ahead of who we were
we were freaks
lobster claw boys and bearded ladies
oddities
juggling depression and loneliness playing solitaire spin the bottle
trying to kiss the wounded parts of ourselves and heal
but at night
while the others slept
we kept walking the tightrope
it was practice
and yeah
some of us fell

but I want to tell them
that all of this shit
is just debris
leftover when we finally decide to smash all the things we thought
we used to be
and if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself
get a better mirror
look a little closer
stare a little longer
because there’s something inside you
that made you keep trying
despite everyone who told you to quit
you built a cast around your broken heart
and signed it yourself
you signed it
“they were wrong”
because maybe you didn’t belong to a group or a click
maybe they decided to pick you last for basketball or everything
maybe you used to bring bruises and broken teeth
to show and tell but never told
because how can you hold your ground
if everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it
you have to believe that they were wrong

they have to be wrong

why else would we still be here?
we grew up learning to cheer on the underdog
because we see ourselves in them
we stem from a root planted in the belief
that we are not what we were called we are not abandoned cars stalled out and sitting empty on a highway
and if in some way we are
don’t worry
we only got out to walk and get gas
we are graduating members from the class of
fuck off we made it
not the faded echoes of voices crying out
names will never hurt me

of course
they did

but our lives will only ever always
continue to be
a balancing act
that has less to do with pain
and more to do with beauty.

Bad Behaviour Online [video]

Stand up for children's mental health

After 10 years teaching middle school children, I am now in my third year teaching children in an inpatient psychiatric assessment unit. It is a gross understatement to say that teaching in the hospital has been a life changing experience.

No one in their right mind is going to disagree with the sentiment of the video above. Saying that we should stand up for children's mental health is not a controversial statement... so why do so many children still suffer?

I won't presume to have the answer because there isn't likely one answer. It's complex. However, after spending almost three years teaching in the hospital and working with kids with mental health problems, I have a few thoughts:

• It's easy to get distracted. For the most part, parents and teachers are good people with the best intentions. We all want what's best for our children; however, when life get's busy and complicated, it's easy to get caught up with tests, grades, homework, competition, meetings, externally mandated curricula, quizzes, report cards, honour rolls, scholarships, winning, losing and sports.

• It's easy to assume everything is okay. When adults ask adults, "how are you?", adults tend to say, "good", even when things are not good. While adults do this often, the kids are watching and learning. If we ask, "is everything okay", we need to be prepared to hear kids say, "yes" but see that their body language says, "no".

• It's easy to assume that someone else will help. The bystander effect tells us that people are less likely to offer help when other people are present. Too often we relinquish our responsibility to help others by convincing ourselves that someone else will help.

• It's easy to make mental health a day that we check off on the calendar. Making mental health, bullying and healthy eating one-day special events might look good on our accountability reports but it does nothing to address what children need.

At the heart of a healthy home and a good school are relationships. When we get distracted, make assumptions and/or disengage from children, we fail them more than they could ever fail us.

Wildrose is morally bankrupt

I was disgusted when I read Wildrose candidate Allan Hunsperger's hateful comments about gay people burning in a lake of fire and that public education is Godless, wicked and profane for putting into place anti-bullying policies to protect children from being targeted for their sexual orientation.

I was appalled when I heard Wildrose Candidate Ron Leech say that he has an advantage in the election because he is white.

Deep down there is a religious libertarian contradiction that lives in the bowels of the Wildrose and it goes something like this:

"I want to be able to say and do whatever the hell I want without the government meddling and interfering with my life so that I may impose my will on others who are different than me."

As shameful as these two examples of the Wildrose's bigotry and racism are, I hold a special distaste for Danielle Smith's refusal to condemn either of her party's candidates. That Smith retreats to the party line that "the Wildrose will not introduce legislation on contentious social issues" is nothing more than silence as assent.

We all have the moral authority to stand up and speak out against hatred and intolerance, but when given the opportunity to lead her party, Danielle Smith chooses to follow a racist and a bigot.

Danielle Smith and The Wildrose are both morally bankrupt and intellectually indefensible.

Condoning bigotry

The 2012 Alberta Provincial Election is something I routinely discuss with my students.

I was reading a blog post that was written by Wildrose candidate Allen Hunsperger that featured his views on gay people that included:

-“accepting people the way they are is cruel and not loving.”

-Hunsperger used Lady Gaga's song Born this Way to preface his point that gay people can choose “to not live the way they were born.” He went on to write, “You can live the way you were born, and if you die the way you were born, then you will suffer the rest of eternity in the lake of fire, hell, a place of eternal suffering."

-Hunspurger went on to label public education as “godless,” meaning “profane or wicked.”

Afterward the leader of the Wildrose Danielle Smith refused to condemn Hunsberger's post and reiterated that her party won’t legislate on contentious moral issues. You can read about all this here.

How the hell am I going to explain this to my students?

Can you imagine if a teacher witnessed one student bullying another for their sexual orientation and the teacher opted out of doing anything because they didn't believe in taking a stand on contentious moral issues?

Allan Hunspurger is a bigot. Danielle Smith is a coward and Albertans should be ashamed of both and leave them where they belong -- in the past.

If this is how our potential elected officials model citizenry, what affect will this have on our children?

Bravo to Glenn Taylor and the Alberta Party for challenging Danielle Smith and the Wildrose to withdraw Allan Hunspurger as a candidate for the upcoming election.

Bullying Perspectives

My students were having small group discussions when out of know where two boys started punching each other. They would take turns slugging each other in the shoulder in some kind of macho domination game.

I called them over to talk with them about what they were doing. Because I don't believe in rewards or punishment, I have to start off all of these kinds of conversations by asking why they were doing what they were doing.

The conversation went something like this:

Me: Boys, why are you hitting each other?

Them: We don't know. But we are friends. We don't mind. Really.

Me: Hmm. I've asked you before to not hit each other or be violent towards each other, and you said you would refrain from hitting each other.

Them: Yeah, but we are friends. We really don't mind.

Me: When I was a boy your age, I remembered playing these games. I would get hit and I would hit back. But I can distinctly remember wishing the hitting would stop because deep down it really hurt. But I can also remember not knowing how to end the game without coming across as a sissy. Even if one of you felt like I did, would you say anything?

Them: Probably not.

Me: You might be thinking to yourself right now that you are in fact, deep down, okay with the hitting. Maybe you are the one that is okay with this. But if you are the one that is okay with it, does that mean the other guy is the one who is not.

Them: Yeah but how will we ever really know?

Me: Maybe you'll never really know, so I have to ask you, are you willing to take the chance of making your friend feel this way.

Them: We never thought of it that way.

Do they still hit each other? Yes, occasionally they still throw the odd punch, but it's not very often. Not nearly as often as they used to.

They are learning.

Mark the bully

Over the last five years, I have taken a real interest in researching the effects marks have on learning. My research has led me to believe that marks sabotage learning in the name of achievement. I believe learning to be the objective of any sound education system: therefore, anything and everything we do as teachers, students and parents should focus on emphasizing and protecting learning at all costs. Consider the following anecdote:

What if your son or daughter was being bullied? Imagine your son or daughter striving to learn what the teacher instructs, but after every assignment, your child was put down and judged by a student named Mark. In fact, Mark would line up all the students of the class and rank them according to their ability and performance. Your son or daughter hates this, and yet they are subjected to put downs and ridicule after every assignment and test. They try to learn as the teacher asks them, but after every attempt, Mark lashes out. Mark’s relentless harassment eventually places enough pressure on your child that they see each assignment as a chore. They stop taking on challenges in school just so they can ensure success. They stop thinking creatively and instead are happy to mindlessly repeat what Mark wants to hear. They can’t stand Mark’s ridiculing and begin to cheat off of other students, even though they know it’s wrong. After receiving a low grade on an assignment, Mark calls them dumb, and your son or daughter starts to believe Mark is right. They see failure as something that should have never happened. They believe that they can never afford to make a mistake because Mark is always waiting to judge them. To avoid Mark’s bullying and teasing, your child sees their friends as mere speed bumps to pass over to achieve a higher rank. They even establish a fake relationship with their teacher that includes sucking up and brown nosing, hoping that they can increase their grades, again to avoid Mark’s wrath.

What would you want the teacher to do with Mark? Remove him from class and discipline him? Or would you rather the teacher use Mark as a tool to motivate and sort the students of the class to achieve greater success? After all, those with top grades must feel really good about themselves in knowing that they won’t have to suffer Mark’s reign of terror. If only your son or daughter would understand that if they just worked harder, they could avoid the consequences.

Unfortunately, what your son or daughter doesn’t realize is that Mark is not a real person. Mark is really marks. Many teachers use marks to develop a class average on a curve, and this class average does not allow everyone to achieve an 80% or 90%. Most teachers would openly say that they do not place their students on the bell curve, however, too often a subconscious curve is established. Here's what I mean. Go out and ask a teacher or parent this question: What would be your ideal class average? This question is a bit of a setup because if the teacher even cares about their class average in the first place, then they are more likely to be consciously or subconsciously placing their students learning on the bell curve. Regardless, in my experience, I tend to get a lot of answers like "70-75% or somewhere around a B." Think about these responses for a second. Don't these answers imply that some students need to achieve less than 100%? Wouldn't the ideal class average be 100%?

The problem with making class averages matter is that some students are made to fail by design. Not convinced? What if a teacher reported that their class average was 100%? What would be the public reaction? Does anyone for a second believe that people would say "oh wow, that teacher must have worked their tail off to teach those students so much"? This kind of response is laughable. It's more likely that the response would sound more like "hmm, that teacher must mark too easy, or they are just too easy on those kids, or that teacher must have really low standards."

This means that your son or daughter’s effort may have less to do with their success than you understand. Because students are so rigorously compared to one another by teachers, students and parents, only a select few may achieve honors, while the rest are ranked somewhere in the middle or bottom no matter how much effort they put forward. In this system, ability to achieve high grades is more important than learning or effort - it's about competing and winning.

Jerome Bruner, an American pshychologist, once said that "children should experience success and failure not as reward and punishment but as information." And because grades can only be experienced as a reward or punishment, they need to be removed so that children can focus more on just learning.