It's not about the winning

My four-year old daughter Kayley and I went for a visit with her great-grandmother Betty.

Kayley was quick to say, "Gramma, I have soccer tonight."

"Oh, really. Do you run around and try to win?" Grandma asked.

Kayley paused and half-rolled her eyes, "oh Grandma, it's not about winning... it's about having fun."

Grandma and I looked at each other and grinned. I was a little surprised to hear this from my four-year old, while Grandma turned to Kayley and said, "that's quite profound, Kayley. How right you are."

--------------

The truth is that much of the conventional wisdom surrounding the motivational effects of competition prove to be mythological. If you are like me and you enjoy a good competitive game this might be a tough pill to swallow. After all, it's not easy to challenge some of the foundations of our reality.

A familiar challenge to rethinking the conventional wisdom surrounding competition goes something like this:

In the real world there's lots of competition, and because kids live in the real world, they need to be prepared to be competitive.

I agree that there's plenty of competition in the real world, and I'm even willing to admit that children should be literate in the art and science of competition. But let's be clear, even if a good case can be made for learning about the effects and consequences of competition, that is not the same as immersing them in it.